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Saturday, 14 March 2015

All You Need is Love

Life is a series of moments bundled up together, the good ones, the bad ones and even the unnamed ones. It is all these moments, irrespective of the time make us who we are, it is they alone that decide the road we take, the future we make. And most importantly it is the people in these times both the happy ones and the miserable ones that we depend on our closed ones for hope. It is hope after all that fills the flattened balloon and gives rise to sun after a rainy day.

The incident is dated so long ago, and yet it is fresh in my mind just like yesterday. Why should I think about it? It happened so so long ago precisely when I was in my class X th. It didn't take place on working Monday-Tuesday-Thursday nor on the non-working Sunday. It was a thing that dominated most of my year, rather the entire year. One that had the power to make my life or let it go to shambles.

All through my school life I've always been an average student, not because I didn't study but because I always always made silly mistakes, cancelling the right writing the wrong and voila where I could have scored 80/100 I gracefully land to a 70/100 or a measly 65. But that was fine, as there were only two or three subjects that topped that list, one of them being Mathematics.

I was fine with it, marks weren't going to govern my life were they? How did it matter if I was the topper or not, if I loved Math or not. Well it didn't until I reached my std Xth and my future depended on my boards.

I remember it distinctly as it haunted me almost like a horror movie, we had Trigonometry in Algebra and I was a mess. Oddly enough the topic was everyone's favourite barring me. It scared the living daylights out of me. First thing I didn't like Math at all, second I always scraped through somehow and lastly I had trigonometry that was stopping me from even scrapping up a decent count. All in all I was a loser in mathematics.

Right from my first unit's I was scoring well in every other subject but Algebra and it started effecting me. I had few friends okay two friends in school and apart from them, everyone teased me. The failing group also didn't welcome me in their club as they mocked me and the elite, well I wasn't their category. That left me perpetually all alone. Every classmate I seeked help from, none gave. My teacher, well she tried to explain me after school and yet it was going downhill. I couldn't get the logic past my head, I needed some weird reasons and I had none.

So just like that, months kept on passing and exams kept on taking place. And with every exam I was scoring less and it was affecting me, slowly I started turning bland from bubbly. My mood wasn't just affecting just me anymore but my whole family, my mother was worried seeing me perform poorly and see me cry. My baby sister didn't know what to do so she tried to make me laugh but nah nothing.

Determined to not let me lose in this whirlpool of depression my mother contacted my aunt and uncle who stayed in a different city. Why you make ask? Well they were class X th and XII th mathematics teachers, they came to Mumbai taught me and yet I could only get my head around 10% of the stuff, they couldn't stay forever and soon they left. It was again me and my self with the torturing trigo.

It was then with my mother's constant support, I stayed up late every night to try to understand the subject, mould it to my understanding. Seeking help from every teacher I knew, right from my classes math teacher, to my school math miss and another ex-school math miss. When I was on the verge of losing my hope, these teachers and my mother became my motivation. They taught me at every available hour, they tried  to get my confusion and worked through it, helped me clear my doubts and answered even my calls which I did from a public pay phone.

And yet, I failed in Algebra in my first ever pre-boards prelims. I was amongst the toppers in other subjects, esp history yet not math; what did it matter scoring well in all and failing in one. Still I didn't let myself be deterred, I made a new friend and helped her in her studies in a way helping myself. Constant motivation and optimism kept me going and I finally scored a 56/75 in Algebra my third and final pre-board prelims.

I was satisfied, at least I didn't fail. And then came the big day, the actual boards itself. Prayers of my teachers, love of my family and everyone's motivation and my own determination I walked in the examination hall, wrote the paper and walked away thinking nothing hoping against hope to score good.

Day ticked fast and soon March turned to June in a blink on an eye, it was the day of judgment, the result day. I was fretting, sweating and my heart was beating wildly. I was even convinced I will take up Commerce due to my low percentage even though I detested it or maybe I would be welcome in Arts. And then a call, a call from one of my aunts asking me for my seat number. I was frantic, I said no but relented eventually. Those 15 minutes were the I dunno, can't describe of my life. And then she called and for a whole moment, I was shocked, I asked her check again is it really me? My name, this can't be happening, I can't score that much. My parents were worried, they didn't know why I was in shock. And then I exclaim I have scored 140/150 in Mathematics, that means at-least 70 in both Algebra and Geometry.

That was the biggest shock, not only I had passed, I had passed with flying colours. My running had stopped, I had reached my goal and I hadn't lost. No one could guess, no one could believe but just my family and the teachers who stood by me. They were proud of me and it was a proud feeling.

And it was that day that I realized, alone we can achieve so little but #together so much more. The coming days were bathed in positivity and optimism and filled with hope that everything is possible if we all stick together and help each other trod through difficult times.

This post is inspired by Housing.com - #Together.

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