Sunday, 5 December 2010

Chap 6: Longing

Chap 6: Longing

              Two days went by peacefully since the engagement ceremony took place and yet so many ceremonies were lined up all in a very traditional Indian manner; ranging from mehendi, haldi and so many more to come left everyone panting.
           Everyone teased the couple and they just blushed wherein others just grinned and enjoyed to the hilt. Amidst all these wedding preparations and ceremonies one thing was still troubling Gaurav; he had noticed Zaid's behavior over the past few days he didn't seem the same person he was back there in Mumbai, even zoya sensed this abrupt change in her friend though she didn't know much about him and his past life here it still worried her as he was jovial at one time and detached the another. Even Preet and Muskaan were discussing the same regarding Ada and Zaid …Sameer too was startled at his sister's behavior and that started to worry him more than anything else; he was noticing her since Zaid arrived and it was more evident and clear during the engagement ceremony two days back. What could be the matter that it affected them to this extent?? Why do these guys run away from their "so called problem" and not confront each other and sort it out?? Everyone seemed to be in a dilemma ….
              Zaid and Ada could feel the tension brewing between them, no words but awkward silence…they yearned to speak to each other and break the bonds of silence which was drifting them apart; yet none spoke to each other. They satisfied the longing of their hearts by stealing glances while the other didn't seem to notice…In fact it would be true to say they hadn't spoken to each other since a very long time which could be traced back to the time when Zaid left Darjeeling when he was eighteen years old. 
              At times, Ada seemed to act more mature than Zaid though she was two years younger to him; yet today she too behaved indifferently by not giving way to her feelings and long lost desires just like him. This silence and non-verbal gestures were killing both of them silently despite all of this none resorted to verbalization and opening up and resolving the conflict… they waited for the other to break the ice but it didn't seem to happen anytime soon. Over the passing of years both seemed to become cold and strong headed wherein, they were still vulnerable at heart; and could not gather courage to speak up thinking what the other might feel or think….. 
                Deep in the far corner of her room, Ada kept on staring the moonless sky admiring the beauty of night; so peaceful and calm…the pure enchanting beauty of darkness captivated her and gave her a deep sense of belonging-ness and peace within. She didn't feel lonely and creepy at night like most do but found solace as the darkness engulfed her and at last she let her tears spill uncontrollably.….didn't even try to stop them…and slipped into her world of thoughts, "Tears well up in my eyes for a fictional character who is in pain…tears also threaten to spill when my dear friends are hurt and are in pain….but these tears don't well up in my eyes that easily when I'm hurt; it would be an understatement to say that I don't cry…. I do cry; occasionally for everyone but very rarely for my own self…I've merely got used to people hurting me and taking me for granted for my patient, understanding and caring nature…it's not they took me for granted but I let them take subconsciously and then leaving me on cross roads from where I don't know where to go which path to take; I'm stranded all alone…but life has taught me better; more than it should have… I've stopped answering people be it my brother or my best friends and other people who pity on me when there is no need for it I've ignored these people long back and I've moved on with life and I'm enjoying every bit of it… I don't wallow over things like I used to back in my teenage years, nor do I wear my heart on my sleeve…. back then my friends felt I'm lying to them…but no I was not I never have, I was and today too I'm vulnerable to them can't hide my pain in front of my dear buddies; well now they have finally understood I've changed and that too for good! And no matter how much ever I try running away from these feelings and emotions I'm unable too; but with the passage of time I've learnt not to showcase my emotions and heart felt desires and to plaster a smile on my face; so that none come to know I'm still vulnerable and still the same girl at heart though changed a lot…I can't let go of myself …can't bear another heartbreak ", thought Ada as she silently cried not thinking why this happened to her?? She had stopped questioning herself and God a long time ago….but today she was forced to question again…why? Why did he have to come back in her life and behave so indifferently with her?? …it was making matters much more complicated, she sighed and rested her head on the wall nearby ; She needed to be strong, she couldn't lose herself to him…she would gain nothing but pain and sorrow and more silent mute tortures. She had fallen for a man who didn't believe in love; for whom love is just a mere game….girls love him for his looks and money; nothing simply nothing called love existed in his life. Little did she know how wrong she was…the man did believe in love; much more than she did but did not trust and believe his own self and destiny…..
                Down in the drawing room everyone else sat discussing this issue …it was more important than the marriage. But alas! It felt as if they too had given up and were now tired and also had given up hope to reunite the two friends and left matters in the hands of destiny; when the people concerned were not ready to let go and confront they as friends also couldn't do much…how much to try and make them understand to talk to each other, bury the hatchet and embrace the future…but now their thoughts rested only on one thing as to what didn't happen in eight years nor in these three week could not happen in the last week too but then maybe…maybe destiny had some other plans….you never know until the right time comes….

P.S: Zaid is 26 and Ada is 24… not get confused.


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