Sunday, 5 December 2010

Chap 9: Amour

Chap 9: Amour

"Birds are chirping far away in the woods,
And shadows are left far behind,
The rhythm of heart reverberates loud,
But not a mere soul in sight."

          The November night was silent and peaceful, the air was misty and a chill ran through the air and blew her hair aimlessly and the wind caressed her cheeks. The moon shone brightly in the water beside the waterfall, her petite body glowed in the basking moonlight. The water gushed through the pebbles near the rivulet making a soothing sound and a beautiful smile played on her lips. She remembered her teenage years with Zaid in their special hideout; it was still her hideout and she would come here when she was ecstatic as well as when she wanted solitude. Today too, she was here like always but with an amalgam of so many feelings.
         Back at the wedding everyone was enjoying, the newly weds brimmed in joy and others too were having a ball, amidst all this fun and joy Zaid was feeling restless he needed some space, he felt suffocated and the reason was unknown to him. He excused himself from the crowd and walked the untrodden road, he was lost. Unknowingly he traced his path to "their" secret hideout, in search of tranquility to clear the mess and drain his soul before heading forward in his journey. The place was the same it had been eight years back. He could listen to the humming of nightingale the place looked even more ethereal at night than it seemed in the sunlight; the sound of the water rushing through the rivulet snapped him out to reality. He walked towards the cave, and the sight shocked him she looked beautiful and the moonlight added to the beauty, he was entranced. She looked like an angel descended on earth "his angel" the wind blew and shook him out of his trance. He pondered and finally moved towards her, and spoke in the most subtle of forms.
        "Hello!" for a moment Ada felt she had an encounter with a ghost as she turned pale, it took seconds to register it was Zaid. "Oh My God! You scared me" muttered a shaken Ada. His immediate response was a sorry as he sat down beside her. None of them spoke for a while, words didn't seem to escape and silence prevailed. After what seemed like an eternity and the silence was killing Zaid he finally spoke, "you looking good! Changed a lot, more than I imagined."
         "Time does change people a lot, more than we can imagine and even relationships", replied Ada her voice devoid of emotions. (Pause) Zaid struggled with his emotions and his words died before coming out; finally he let out a sigh and thought it's high time he confront Ada or at least ask apology for his cold behavior and attitude towards her, "umm...Ada I want to say something to you" Ada looked up at this and gazed into his brown eyes and blinked her lashes as if signaling him to continue.
         "I'm ... (Stammering) I'm sorry Ada, I'm really very sorry for each and everything I know a sorry would not suffice yet that is the only word I have to ask forgiveness for my ice cold behavior, my talking rudely to you ignoring you, each and everything that I've done during this month; well just not this month alone but the whole lot ten years. I made you cry, I hurt you, I made you feel low and even went on to the extent of blocking you off my life completely. I didn't realize my untold words and silence was killing you silently. (Pause) I didn't want to see you hurt and your heart to rip and shatter, but what I forgot I was actually doing all that which I didn't want to. (Pause) You were precious and dear to me I feared losing you, I could not bear the pain, he felt his words choke yet he spoke further; I don't know Ada whether my apology was heartfelt or it sounded like me cold but it's the truth that had been buried for so long and it would have been, but I just couldn't stop myself I can't see the one "I love" in pain and that too when I'm the one responsible for it." No sooner did the words escaped his mouth; Ada became still and numb, she could not gauge the situation and suddenly it striked Zaid; he let go...let go of the emotions he held back from years, he regretted; regretted coming here, apologizing to Ada and also saying those three forbidden words, his heart pounded loudly as he felt, he would now lose Ada completely.
Neither of them spoke, Ada was still in a daze "Had she heard right? Does he really love me? If yes then why did he hide it? And kept on running away from me and the feelings?" Several questions started looming in her mind and yet her heart bubbled, she was joyous and tears flowed down her cherry cheeks and a smile played on her lips and she hugged Zaid tightly. Zaid was dumbfounded he didn't seem to understand what was going on, his eyes wide open with shock, delight and fear too!
            She slowly parted from him and stared into his eyes and he stared back, suddenly the eye lock broke and the smile that tugged Ada's lips vanished and she looked away. She wanted to say so much, question him, ask him every possible thing she could but she was numb by the sudden confession. She didn't want to lose him though she didn't have any right over him nor did they have a relationship yet she felt close and near to him and couldn't take in him leaving her all alone once again, she would die yet words failed to escape and sentences broke even before they were spoken. After a debate with her conscience whether she should speak or let the silence prevail between them, she chose the former and started speaking; her voice soothing and soft.
            "You were my best friend, a friend whom I treasured dearly and kept close to my heart. A friend who was with me in my growing years, who understood my silence and never mistook my talkative self. I felt like a free bird when I was with you and over the years this friendship turned into a beautiful relationship. Yes, I fell in love with you but did not acknowledge it. At first I brushed off my feelings and named them nothing more than infatuation (Pause) and months went by but, then a time came when you started avoiding me and reduced our interaction, and my feelings just grew stronger and it was then that I realized that this was not mere attraction but love. Yet, you didn't sense the change or perhaps I never did show and the feeling just grew more with the passage of time. People say when love is not returned and is one sided it fades away sooner or later but with me the opposite took place."
            She was silent for sometime listening to the tinkling sound of the waterfall before she resumed speaking again, "I do not know which side of you I enjoy the most and feel close too but I treasure each side just as I have treasured our past years. (Pause) You have something Zaid, something beautiful and secure, something different from the other men I've come across, maybe it's your personality or just my perception. I see you as a kind hearted and a caring man though at times you don't show this aspect of you; you are the most peaceful man I know, an angel to me who I know will be with me' no matter what happens, no matter how much ever we argue or disagree, deep down my heart I know you do care and nothing can change that. (Pause) I believed and felt this even before and today I know you do care!"


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